More Details

Well, I'm back in the hospital at 22 weeks pregnant. Our heads our swirling a bit. One minute we feel hopeful and at peace. The next, we fight worry and fear.

Medical facts

• I am at risk for my placenta tearing away which would be fatal to the baby at this point.

• I could bleed to much and need a transfusion or worse.

• I am on the edge of preterm labor, right now at bay with use of 2 meds.

• I will most likely have a emergency c-sec, high risk delivery and preemie baby.

• Docs say they cannot save the baby before 24 weeks.

• Of course, there is a whole new set of dangers and decisions that come with a pre-term/undeveloped baby.

• I will possibly leave the hospital tomorrow until I have another "incident" and most likely be back in 2 weeks for the rest of my pregnancy since at that point the baby is viable and needs to be at in quick proximity to medical help.
  

These are some of the worries, not to sound dooms day, but to just give you more of idea of what's going on. We also know that the outcome can be more positive than these risks. They are calling my condition a placental abruption with possible accreta. However, yesterday's ultrasound showed I have a good portion of my placenta intact and baby is not affected.

Practical Facts

• The kids are staying at my parents right now - 1 hour from us. We are so thankful for a secure place for them.
• We may need to make longer terms decisions about their schooling, activity involvement, keeping them near us, their friends, and their church...
  
• We are getting meals from our church family.
• Our church family is at our beck and call. Not to mention, co-workers, neighbors, and town friends.
  
• Andy is trying to stay on top of work, house, kid arrangements, me, putting down flooring and just emotional stress.
• We love visitors! Either at the hospital or home.

 I don't want to have a blog pity party or make things bigger than they are. But so many have asked for more details and I am giving them for prayer's sake. Thank you SO much for those prayers! We love you all!

Side Notes

I wish I had my camera here to share my lovely hospital habitat. Ha! Or at least my beautiful flowers.
I'm actually really busy here!

You know, blogging, reading Francine Rivers, working on photo books for 3 kiddos, transferring this blog into a hard copy book, phone calls, eating, soaking up the Word, visitors, watching HGTV, hanging out with my love, and of course be poked and prodded by nurses.

Don't feel sorry for me!

We'll be expecting a promo check in the mail

On the Eve of His Birth

Look at what I'm lounging under. Naphtali sent me a beautiful quilt and book (2 actually)! Thank you ma'm!

Staring at the ceiling today...
Well, not quite, but it's a quiet Christmas eve with the kids all up at Grandma and
Grandpa's. They are playing games with their aunts and uncle while we are recovering from another trip to the hospital. Without going into the gory details, I am doing fine and we were thankful to be sent home after only 8 hours. The answers are still not clear, but my speculation is that I just have a subchorionic hemorrhage and the ailments that go with it. Praying that is goes away and I can have a normal pregnancy.

Thinking on: "Who being the brightness of His glory, and the express image of His person, and upholding all things by the word of His power, when he had by Himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high. When He bringeth in the firstbegotten into the world, He saith, And let all the angels of God worship Him." Heb 1:3&6
How much His birth brought this world!
 

By the way, online Christmas shopping has taken on a whole new meaning.

Lots of brown paper packages on our front porch bringing little excitements to our days. Also, all those Christmas cards that the postman has been bringing. Our ultimate favorite is Josh and Brooke's - I'm still laughing!

Our family has been spoiled rotten lately. We are so blessed with how the Lord uses His own to cheer and care for us. People we didn't even know liked us have done such sweet things.

Today I'm listening to Sara Groves' Christmas album amidst a nail gun and saw. Dear husband in starting to lay new hardwood floors while I'm offering no help, unless you count questions and suggestions...or reprimandings him every time he says, "dang it".

Kitty, Patches, is driving me crazy. Apparently I'm a pathetic & helpless candidate for her to pounce on and scratch or eat my snacks. Sigh.

The kids and other family might show up later to beat the freezing roads. Then we will eat Shawna's pesto/mozzarella calzones & sherry tomato soup (These dear friends personally delivered 5 delicious freezer meals to us!) and after the kids will unwrap and model their Christmas pajamas.

Merry Christmas to you all! Our friends and family mean so much to us this Christmas!

Our Savior's presence becomes more real each year as we know Him more!

Emmanuel, God is with us.

10 Years

Dear Darling,

I remember our 5 year anniversary was you and me puking on the couch with the stomach flu.
Now married 10 years, we're on the couch again.
I'm no beauty queen in my sweats and bed head, but you are here at my side.
For better or worse, in sickness and in health,  I know I will be your love and you mine.
Happy Anniversary! 

Loving you more and more,
Me

p.s. we'll celebrate later!

photo by Bekah Stephenson

Our Wedding Passage:

A Hymn of Faith
Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail, 
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer's feet.
And He will make me walk on my high hills.

To triage and home again

Funny how I just got done saying that being "home" is wonderful. It still is, but now I'm afraid it might bring a wax and wane of my affections. Unless my situation changes I will be here on the couch or in a hospital bed indefinitely. The Lord knows all about the future and will give us grace as it comes.

I spent 3 days and 4 nights in the hospital to get my symptoms under control. Basically my placenta is not right. The docs can't give me a diagnosis at the moment because the u/s shows so much bleeding in it. They have given me a run down of the worst and also assurance that everything might turn out fine. It's a waiting and resting game. And trying to let my mind not dwell on the worst.

This little girl will likely come early, but our prayers are not too early. I'm now 20 weeks, so if I can make it another 5, that would be good.

We are again humbled by the prayers and concern of so many. The availability and servant's heart of people literally on our doorstep. And at how good my mom's oatmeal and icy orange juice taste. And how my sister came back to our crazy pad to scrub our dishes and homeschool the rug-rats. And how my new friend dropped of a care package last night.
I want to write you all a "merci beaucoup"!

We have 2 weeks of help and meals set up. The kids are not suffering much after time at g'parents and best friends they even had "Miss Laila" make gingerbread men with them yesterday. At the same time, they are a little frustrated with lots of chores and seeing mommy extra lazy. Leyla just walked in from gymnastics telling me it was "parents day" and then burst out crying. Poor baby. It's a growing time for them, too.

We know this is all just for a time and are so thankful that the baby and I are fine and healthy. I am so blessed to have a super-capable husband who remains strong and faithful to the Lord. And that is our prayer, that our faith will not be swayed. That we will take this as an opportunity to know Him better and grasp every good thing that He has for us - no matter what the outcome. He knows it all and it's not what we want, but what He wants. It's a good place to be, weak and grappling for help.

"Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup and have made my lot secure" Ps. 16:5

My portion is rest and trust.

"I know no greater simplifier for life. Whatever happens is assigned. Does the intellect balk at that? Can we say that there are things that happen to us which do not belong to our lovingly assigned 'portion'? ('This belongs to it, and that does not')? Are some things, then, out of the control of the Almighty? Every assignment is measured and controlled for my eternal good." Elisabeth Elliot

Home

After an 8 day Thanksgiving trip and last week being one of the busiest weeks in a long time - school activities, holiday engagements, church opportunities, work requirements...
This week is perfectly boring.
Everything has been canceled and we are stuck at home, save a trip to Target, Buffalo Wild Wings and the library. Glorious.

Smoke from the chimney = a toasty warm home where we are doing a bit of this and that.

 With the curtains open at night, of course.

 

Teaching him how to knit - much to his father's hesitation.

But it was making these scary monsters that inspired him, so it's ok, right?

Munchkins gobbling up homemade lunchables (thanks for the idea Shawna).

She's learning to knit, too.

 Stumbling out of bed after them and finding them like this, they are angels in my eyes.

Hearing the snow blower chugging at 5:30 a.m. for 3 mornings in a row, my husband in angel, too.

 Late night family tromping through the neighborhood.
Reading Family Under the Bridge and thankful that we are blessed with four walls.

This is what happens when it's single digits with 16 in. of snow.

And heard around here:

Me: "oh buddy, did you bonk your head?!"

Cade (mad & crying): "no, I bonked by brain."

Leyla (all holy-like) to Chlo: "did you know that you are to be quick to listen and slow to speak?"

Chlo (annoyed): "No I didn't! Hmmph. So, that's why they take so long in church."

 We can't wait to be blessed by this tonight.